July 16, 2005

A new influx of Rabbits descended on DF this week, including Padma and Parvati Patil, Marietta Edgecombe, Zacharias Smith and Madame Marguerite Delacour. Meanwhile, the French contingent acquires new members in Fleurette Chauvelin, Madeleine, whose batshit insane son Erik you've all met, and M. Ragueneau. Dr. Abraham Van Helsing and Chief Warrant Officer Sir Horace Harkness also join their contemporaries.

Adding to the ranks of our senior citizens you will find Mme. "Mamma" Valerius, Mrs. Olivia Winfield Foxworth, and a gentleman by the name of Drosselmeyer. Please give them a warm BUT GENTLE welcome.

High Priestess Jaelle and Tabor dan Ivor join us from Fionavar. Care for a Midol, Jaelle?

Spunky teens Random Frequent Flyer Dent, Ms. Lilly Moscovitz, and Sparrow from Westmark all bid fair to make our lives more interesting. Less disruptive energetic charmers have also joined us, such as Princess Sidana of Meara, Míriel Serindë Therindë that one chick Þerindë, and the Lady of the Lake.

Not all of our new arrivals are as congenial as all that. Please be cautious when approaching Aornis Hades, The Corinthian v2.0, Emperor Zhark and Offler the Crocodile God. We're just sayin'.

Finally, please welcome Barnabas the remarkably sensible dog, Hunter of London Below, Michael Cantrip, Merry Brandybuck, and Chris Dollanganger.

The community was rocked this week in more ways than one XD by a wave of transformations affecting all levels of society: namely, everybody and his mother suddenly turned into a prepubescent version of him-, her-, or itself. Investigations into this phenomenon are still underway, now that some of us are actually competent to investigate anything again.

Dazed? Confused? Think your typist deserves his or her very own apologia? Just enjoy minutiae? Rejoice, for it's here at last: The Desperate Wiki! Join today and add your store of knowledge to this crackaddled groundbreaking compendium.

Also, Ms. Hermione Granger wed Ron Weasley in a sooper sekrit mun-locked post late last week. Congratulations, you crazy kids!

The Weasley twins have acquired a new typist. Hotblack Desiato, Branaric Astiar, and Numair Salmalin are currently in the market for same.

On Vacation: Honor Harrington, Cordelia Ransom, Pepper, Kristy Thomas, Helga Hufflepuff, Alan Campbell, Lily Potter.

With the advent of new HP canon, mod entreats, "No Spoilers!"

The Count of Monte Cristo seeks parenting advice.

Teatime wishes to purchase a friend. Explain to him, won't you?

• July 3rd: Yossarian
• July 4th: Horatio Hornblower (thread)
• July 11th: Gideon Prewett
• July 14th: Paul Tankersley
• July 15th: Raoul de Chagny (thread)
• July 20th: Kassandra of Troy
• July 21st: Mimi Marquez
• July 26th: Anathema Device
• July 27th: Adrien Courfeyrac
• July 30th: Neville Longbottom
• July 31st: Harry Potter

Wanted: 16+ people interested in learning or playing baseball. Comment here or email Adm. A. McKeon's typist at aetherbunny (at) gmail.com.

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